According to theory and research on coupled parents, there are trade-offs between parenting and sexuality, with the trade-offs being most prominent among women with young children. However, there has been little research on how an increasing population of single parents navigates dating and sexual behavior. The current study included a nationally representative sample of 5,481 single Americans aged 21 and up from 2012, of whom 4.3 percent were parents of a child under the age of five. A few dependent variables of the study were: sexual thoughts, frequency of sexual activity, number of sexual partners in the previous year, dates in the previous three months, and if one was actively looking for a relationship partner.
Single parents with small children aren’t too busy for date nights—or sex, for that matter—contrary to common assumption. According to a new study published in the Journal of Sex Research, single parents of older children report more sexual frequency and first dates than single parents of younger children. The researchers at the Kinsey Institute wanted to discover if single parents with a small child (five years old or younger) put in less effort while courting and mating.
Surprisingly, single parents with very young children (those under the age of two) reported greater sexual activity and first dates in the previous three months than single parents with older children (aged six years and older.) They also discovered that single mothers with young children (under the age of two) had more dates than single fathers with young children. And there were few to no variations in sexual activity and desire between single parents and nonparents.
These findings challenge parental philosophy in social science. The majority of psychology and sociology literature assumes a “reproductive investment trade-off,” or that parents prioritize raising their children over other activities, such as finding partners for future reproduction. This hypothesis has a lot of evidence to back it up like, ‘Breastfeeding decreases a woman’s desire for sexual activity, ‘Parenting is draining, leaving little time for socializing or sex.’, ‘Parenting is costly, which means parents have less money to spend on social activities.’ or ‘Single parents are less appealing as dates and sex partners because they are less available and have more responsibilities.’ All of these observations are correct. Single parents, on the other hand, nevertheless find time, energy, and money to date and have sexual relationships.
How does one deal with it? One idea that supports the reproductive investment trade-off theory is that lone parents yearn for a two-parent family and are hence highly motivated to find a long-term co-parent. According to the study, this could be the case: Women, compared to men, were more driven to have long-term partnerships. Female single parents dated more, not less, as their number of young children increased in the study. Another alternative that pushes the boundaries of the reproductive investment trade-off is: Single mothers and fathers may believe that they parent best when they are happy and are not isolated from society. Dating and sex improve their happiness, minimize resentment, and help them be better parents.
Many single parents believe that they should devote their entire lives to raising their children, even if this means putting their own social and sexual demands on hold. Single parents are free to do so if they want, but according to this survey, the majority of single parents date and have as much sex as their single contemporaries without children. The key is to be oneself and prioritize yourself and tend to one’s needs without the prejudiced judgemental notions of society.